Guys and Gals, Eric Holder needs your help.
There is this guy down in Florida who was just found Not-Guilty by a jury of his peers but we still think he’s a no good rotten scoundrel so we need to find something to charge him with. If you have any information about him that could lead to a civil suit being brought against him then we’d appreciate if you’d tell us. There might even be a sweet Obamacare exemption in it for you!
We have a hotline setup and everything. All you need to do is call or email with any information you can give. Nothing is too trivial. Oh yea, the email is Sanford.firstname.lastname@example.org.
And if you could link him to an anti-Islamic YouTube video that would be a big plus!
Surely this crazy ass cracka has committed a hate crime at least once in his life. Proof is not required at this time, we’ll work out those details later.
Informing on your fellow citizens that we don’t like – It’s the American way!