We just got back from a long weekend trip and I spent time killing the one-way 6 hour drive by playing a game I have recently discovered and let me share it with you.
Now that cars and its inhabitants are equipped with all manner of electronic gadgets, my passengers (wife included…) pass the time on the interstate with their devices, movies, iPads, iPods and Kindles so there isn’t much for me to do but count the miles as they tick off. To offer myself a minor distraction from my safe driving duties I developed a game that you can try if you find yourself on a long trip either by yourself or with other disengaged passengers.
The game is fairly simple and since I play by myself I really don’t keep score. I call it “The Interstate Profiling Game” and as the name suggests, it is not politically correct. I read the bumper stickers of the cars I am about to pass and then try to get a mental image of what the driver will look like. Again, that might seem mean but I assure you that I do this with all people and will probably offend just about every segment of the population including the one I occupy.
For example, if I see a ‘NOH8’ or a “Coexist” bumper sticker I would guess that the driver is a skinny white girl who has long, unwashed hair; she’ll be smoking a cigarette and have her nose pierced.
If I see a 26.2, 13.1, 70.4 or any other sticker denoting mileages for running or triathlon competitions I would expect to see a fit person drinking a Gatorade or eating a power bar.
When I see a bumper sticker suggesting activities like canoeing, hiking or kayaking then I would guess to find a granola, earthy type person who might be burning incense in their cup holder.
When I see a ‘Git-R-Done’ or Confederate Flag bumper sticker then I’ll guess that the person driving might be someone who would be mistaken for a regular on the Duck Dynasty reality TV show. He’ll have a long beard and probably chewing tobacco and drinking a 2-liter bottle of Coke.
If I see someone who has those stickers on the back window representing outlines of their family then I’ll see someone who looks like me. He’ll be boring looking, out-of-shape, wearing an old golf shirt and maybe yelling at the kids in the back seat.
Any car having Greek symbols on the back will have college kids with over gelled hair and they’ll be drinking Red Bull.
You get the idea, right? Just good natured fun, no racial or socioeconomic harm meant on my part. I just glance over at the driver, give a friendly nod as if to say ‘Hi’ and then pass them.
But there is one type of bumper sticker that is very hard to profile from a physical appearance point of view but I can definitely tell you how that person thinks (or rather doesn’t think). It’s this sticker:
Yes, there are still people who proudly display their Obama bumper stickers. I saw 5 of them during the 12 hours I spent on the interstate this weekend and I still shake my head every time I see them. And the people that still have the Obama 2008 bumper stickers? I saw two of them this weekend and I really have no words.
There is nothing that says “I’m gullible” more than an Obama 2008 bumper sticker still on a car in 2013. You either have to be oblivious of the news from the past 5 years or possess zero critically thinking skills to still have a desire to tell the world how proud you were to vote for this guy….TWICE.
If I were a criminal, I’d seek these cars out in a parking lot or camp ground because they would be the easiest targets. I doubt they’d have any fight in them and would be easy to overpower (I definitely would guess they wouldn’t have a gun) and they’d probably be willing to give you money for a sob story as well.
When I play this profiling game and I see someone with an Obama bumper sticker I do something different when I pass them – I point and laugh. Try it during your next trip, it’s fun!